Oh you cute little pregnant woman you, with that beautiful belly. Oh how I'd love to go back and reassure you. To calm your fears. To steer you in the right direction. To point out what really matters.
I'd say...Don't worry about how many outfits she has or what size she'll fit into. Your mom will buy enough clothes for her to tie her over :) Also getting her in every outfit once before you have to pack it away constitutes a success.
Those hair bows. Yes they are cute. Yes you think she needs one for every outfit. But really...you will just take them off because they leave marks on her head and you'll have mom guilt.
Speaking of useless clothing items. Shoes. I mean really she will sit in the swing all day. Yes I know they are adorable but let others buy them for you. Oh and ps her feet will stay tiny forever so all those you bought to "save for later" really will be much much later.
Oh the hours of research you did. The hours and hours of research. About this piece of baby equipment and that. How to get her to sleep. What kind of laundry detergent to use. Yeah it never stops. You will continue to google these things until your eyes want to pop out. It's ok. It will reassure you that you are doing ok for a bit before you run back to your computer to google the next thing.
That fear you had of her falling off of something. It'll happen. And you'll feel terrible. One minute she'll be smiling because she rolled over and the next she will be on the floor. It's ok. It happens. You'll comfort her and she will be alright.
And the nursery. Oh how I'd love to tell you to not stress over the nursery. Yes you will do a beautiful job and yes I am sure someday she may appreciate it. But she also won't sleep in it for the first 6 months of her life.
You beautiful mama-to-be. Most of all don't sweat the small stuff. One day they will hand you this most precious little girl that you worked hours to deliver and all of it. Yes ALL OF IT. It just won't matter anymore. All of sudden your entire world will be right there in your arms. You will make mistakes and some days it will feel like you're failing. You will call your girlfriends up ready to pull your hair out. You will cry tears of frustration (and joy). But you'll get through. Through His grace and a whole lot of encouragement from your hubby. Trust me the next day will feel a little bit easier. And that little bundle...she'll love you unconditionally through it all. You will be her world.
And honestly there's nothing like it in the world. To be a mama. You'll do good. Don't worry. :)
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Thursday, August 21, 2014
A Starved Rock Sunday
Last Sunday Mom, Mara and I decided to get out of the house and head to one of the local attractions. Starved Rock is a beautiful state park in the area and it happens to be where Josh and I got married. Every Sunday they have a massive brunch in the lodge so we decided to make reservations and enjoy the day.
After stuffing our faces with eggs, bacon, waffles and way too many desserts to count we let Mara catch a few zzz's in the lodge great room before we headed outside to catch the trolley.
The trolley at Starved Rock is something my mom has wanted to do for awhile. It's a history tour of the park and the surrounding area. Mara woke up just as we were boarding the tram and seemed ready to enjoy the ride. :)
Our first stop was the Lock and Dam. We got to go up to the viewing platform and watch a barge leave the lock. Next we drove around Utica, the closest town, as our driver filled us in on some of the local history. Finally we pulled back into the park for a quick stop at the visitor's center.
In the center we were supposed to watch a video but Mara needed to burn off some energy so we toured a small museum display instead. Mara also really enjoyed looking at and trying to grab some of the local fish in a large tank.
Overall it was a fun outing. Although I knew a little bit about the history of the park, I was really unfamiliar with most of the information given on the trolley ride. I think Mara also really enjoyed riding in the tram and looking out the window.
Hopefully next time we go back to Starved Rock we can hit some of the beautiful trails and see some of the canyons!
After stuffing our faces with eggs, bacon, waffles and way too many desserts to count we let Mara catch a few zzz's in the lodge great room before we headed outside to catch the trolley.
The trolley at Starved Rock is something my mom has wanted to do for awhile. It's a history tour of the park and the surrounding area. Mara woke up just as we were boarding the tram and seemed ready to enjoy the ride. :)
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| Waiting to board |
Our first stop was the Lock and Dam. We got to go up to the viewing platform and watch a barge leave the lock. Next we drove around Utica, the closest town, as our driver filled us in on some of the local history. Finally we pulled back into the park for a quick stop at the visitor's center.
In the center we were supposed to watch a video but Mara needed to burn off some energy so we toured a small museum display instead. Mara also really enjoyed looking at and trying to grab some of the local fish in a large tank.
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| At the Lock & Dam |
Overall it was a fun outing. Although I knew a little bit about the history of the park, I was really unfamiliar with most of the information given on the trolley ride. I think Mara also really enjoyed riding in the tram and looking out the window.
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| Mara checks out some of the museum displays |
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Our Current Sleep Struggles
Sleep has always been an "issue" for us. So much so sometimes I feel like I'm a broken record accounting our night over and over again. Yes she is still waking up. Yes it's hard. Yes a lot of times sometimes I feel like I want to bang my head against a wall.
We hit what I thought to be the "9 month sleep regression" early July. Before this we had established a really regular routine of one wake up per night sometime around 3:30-4:30. At first I shrugged it off thinking she had just had a lot of change in her life. Josh had left on deployment. She was learning to crawl. We were settling into a new routine. But it kept getting worse. 2 wake ups turned to 3 and then 4. Soon she was up every hour.
To say I was frazzled was an understatement. I didn't have anyone with me to take a turn or even just bounce ideas off of. I read lots of blog posts and sent way too many frantic texts to Josh. (poor guy must have felt horrible not being able to do anything) Finally I just had to let her cry for my own sanity. I went in nursed her. Laid her back down and left the room. After two nights of this we were back to one wake up a night.
Enter our travel schedule. I was terrified. I was finally getting some sleep and now we were going to shake things up again. I know Mara. I know how susceptible she is to change when it comes to sleep. Our last major trip ended up in a month of co-sleeping which took two months to un-do. *I'm not saying co-sleeping is a bad thing. It just didn't work for us.*
Well we've been at my parents for about three weeks now. Here Mara has her own crib which nice but it is also in my room. Since we've been here she has woken up anywhere from 2 to 4 times a night. For the most part we have just cuddled and she has fallen back asleep. I do nurse her at least once during the night but otherwise she isn't really hungry.
I'm not sure what is going on (and on some level I've stopped trying to "define" it). She's in a new place. She's getting accustomed to a new house, new smells, new room. She was also cutting a tooth which has just shown itself today. On top of all that she is rapidly conquering a ton of motor skills. She can now pull up to standing, stand on her own, walk along furniture and walk behind a push toy. Her little brain must be on hyper drive!
So I guess there's not really a conclusion to this post. I'm not sure where to go from here nor am I sure I am completely looking for an answer. Yes I'd like her to sleep longer stretches, not wake up so often and (gasp) sleep that elusive through the night. But she's not there yet for some reason. And that's ok. I'm trying really really hard to change my mindset on this. To be grateful for the extra cuddles. To cherish these times together, even if they are at 2 am when she was just up a few hours before. :)
We will get through this and someday we will look back at this time in our lives as a drop in the bucket. Heck we'll probably joke about it when we can't drag her teenager butt out of bed at noon one Saturday morning! But for now I will just continue to push through. To try to stay calm and show her comfort. To look for His grace in this. To thank Him for this sweet time and this precious gift.
On that note I better get to bed.... :)
We hit what I thought to be the "9 month sleep regression" early July. Before this we had established a really regular routine of one wake up per night sometime around 3:30-4:30. At first I shrugged it off thinking she had just had a lot of change in her life. Josh had left on deployment. She was learning to crawl. We were settling into a new routine. But it kept getting worse. 2 wake ups turned to 3 and then 4. Soon she was up every hour.
To say I was frazzled was an understatement. I didn't have anyone with me to take a turn or even just bounce ideas off of. I read lots of blog posts and sent way too many frantic texts to Josh. (poor guy must have felt horrible not being able to do anything) Finally I just had to let her cry for my own sanity. I went in nursed her. Laid her back down and left the room. After two nights of this we were back to one wake up a night.
Enter our travel schedule. I was terrified. I was finally getting some sleep and now we were going to shake things up again. I know Mara. I know how susceptible she is to change when it comes to sleep. Our last major trip ended up in a month of co-sleeping which took two months to un-do. *I'm not saying co-sleeping is a bad thing. It just didn't work for us.*
Well we've been at my parents for about three weeks now. Here Mara has her own crib which nice but it is also in my room. Since we've been here she has woken up anywhere from 2 to 4 times a night. For the most part we have just cuddled and she has fallen back asleep. I do nurse her at least once during the night but otherwise she isn't really hungry.
I'm not sure what is going on (and on some level I've stopped trying to "define" it). She's in a new place. She's getting accustomed to a new house, new smells, new room. She was also cutting a tooth which has just shown itself today. On top of all that she is rapidly conquering a ton of motor skills. She can now pull up to standing, stand on her own, walk along furniture and walk behind a push toy. Her little brain must be on hyper drive!
So I guess there's not really a conclusion to this post. I'm not sure where to go from here nor am I sure I am completely looking for an answer. Yes I'd like her to sleep longer stretches, not wake up so often and (gasp) sleep that elusive through the night. But she's not there yet for some reason. And that's ok. I'm trying really really hard to change my mindset on this. To be grateful for the extra cuddles. To cherish these times together, even if they are at 2 am when she was just up a few hours before. :)
We will get through this and someday we will look back at this time in our lives as a drop in the bucket. Heck we'll probably joke about it when we can't drag her teenager butt out of bed at noon one Saturday morning! But for now I will just continue to push through. To try to stay calm and show her comfort. To look for His grace in this. To thank Him for this sweet time and this precious gift.
On that note I better get to bed.... :)
Monday, August 18, 2014
Life in Illinois
We've been settling into a new normal here in Illinois. It's been great being with family and relaxing a bit. Although our lives aren't too hectic in North Carolina currently, there's something to be said about getting away from it all. My mom is also amazing at making you feel like you can just kick back and relax (laundry, food, etc)
Lately we've been enjoying some quiet days at my parents playing and skyping with Josh. We have also tried to make it a point to go in and meet family for lunch and make surprise visits to Grandma at work.
Every night Mara has been going for walks with Grandma while I run. On numerous occasions we have also stopped in at Aunt Julie's for a chat out on the patio and a look at the new kitties. Mara loves watching them scamper around each other. The weather is amazing here compared to the humidity of North Carolina. I am loving the cool summer nights!
I have also jumped back into the tractor so to speak. I was quickly roped into baling with my dad and brother again. It's hard to be of a real help with Mara around but I'm glad I could help them finish off a few fields before the rain. I have to say I enjoyed being behind the machine again too!
Time has been going quickly and I am excited for what we have in store in the days and weeks to come including trips to Starved Rock, a visit downtown and of course our mini family reunion in Wisconsin later this month.
It's been hard having Josh deployed but it's also nice to be able to come up north and just escape it all for a bit. It definitely
has helped the time go faster!
Lately we've been enjoying some quiet days at my parents playing and skyping with Josh. We have also tried to make it a point to go in and meet family for lunch and make surprise visits to Grandma at work.
Every night Mara has been going for walks with Grandma while I run. On numerous occasions we have also stopped in at Aunt Julie's for a chat out on the patio and a look at the new kitties. Mara loves watching them scamper around each other. The weather is amazing here compared to the humidity of North Carolina. I am loving the cool summer nights!
I have also jumped back into the tractor so to speak. I was quickly roped into baling with my dad and brother again. It's hard to be of a real help with Mara around but I'm glad I could help them finish off a few fields before the rain. I have to say I enjoyed being behind the machine again too!
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| oh just baling some hay |
Time has been going quickly and I am excited for what we have in store in the days and weeks to come including trips to Starved Rock, a visit downtown and of course our mini family reunion in Wisconsin later this month.
It's been hard having Josh deployed but it's also nice to be able to come up north and just escape it all for a bit. It definitely
has helped the time go faster!
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Dear Baby Girl
Dear Baby Girl,
Baby girl I can't believe my little baby is going to be one year old in a little over a month. I swear it was just the other day they placed you on my belly. That I cuddled you up to my chest and breathed in your sweet smell for the first time.
Now you are my active girl who is forever on the move, exploring and soaking in her world. I love that you approach each day with a sense of adventure. You pull out your toys one by one as if you haven't seen them in years instead of hours. You are always studying. Figuring out how things work before you try it yourself. You seem to want to make sure you know what you are doing before you give it a go.
You are such a joy baby girl. Everyday I look at you and think how did we get so lucky to be your parents. Your smile and laughter are infectious and I cannot help but join in with you. Any frustrations or headaches instantly disappear when that little grin crosses your face.
Your personality is starting to emerge. You are reserved and quiet when first entering a situation but warm up with a little encouragement. With those you feel comfortable with, you are constantly showing off, laughing and drawing them into your little world. You love to sit with a book and be read to for hours. You have this sweet smile that seems to say, "I already know what comes next, Mama," as we read the same book for the 5th time.
Baby girl, I find it hard to put into words my love for you. You have changed me for the better. You constantly make me strive to be a better person and remind me of the important things in life. You have taught me selflessness and grace. Baby girl I am so glad God chose me to be your Mama. That I get to see you learn to walk, go off to school for the first time, cheer for you at a sports event, etc. That I can be there for you, always.
In six short weeks you will be turning one. Although it will be just another day in your world baby girl, it's going to be a huge one in your mama's. It symbolizes the start of your toddler years, of a whole new set of milestones and life lessons to go through. I could have never imagined how much you would change our lives for the better in this first year so I imagine it will only get better in this next.
We love you baby girl!
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
Baby girl I can't believe my little baby is going to be one year old in a little over a month. I swear it was just the other day they placed you on my belly. That I cuddled you up to my chest and breathed in your sweet smell for the first time.
Now you are my active girl who is forever on the move, exploring and soaking in her world. I love that you approach each day with a sense of adventure. You pull out your toys one by one as if you haven't seen them in years instead of hours. You are always studying. Figuring out how things work before you try it yourself. You seem to want to make sure you know what you are doing before you give it a go.
You are such a joy baby girl. Everyday I look at you and think how did we get so lucky to be your parents. Your smile and laughter are infectious and I cannot help but join in with you. Any frustrations or headaches instantly disappear when that little grin crosses your face.
Your personality is starting to emerge. You are reserved and quiet when first entering a situation but warm up with a little encouragement. With those you feel comfortable with, you are constantly showing off, laughing and drawing them into your little world. You love to sit with a book and be read to for hours. You have this sweet smile that seems to say, "I already know what comes next, Mama," as we read the same book for the 5th time.
Baby girl, I find it hard to put into words my love for you. You have changed me for the better. You constantly make me strive to be a better person and remind me of the important things in life. You have taught me selflessness and grace. Baby girl I am so glad God chose me to be your Mama. That I get to see you learn to walk, go off to school for the first time, cheer for you at a sports event, etc. That I can be there for you, always.
In six short weeks you will be turning one. Although it will be just another day in your world baby girl, it's going to be a huge one in your mama's. It symbolizes the start of your toddler years, of a whole new set of milestones and life lessons to go through. I could have never imagined how much you would change our lives for the better in this first year so I imagine it will only get better in this next.
We love you baby girl!
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Corn-a-poluza
I've always wanted to be a runner. Always wanted to like lacing up those sneakers and hitting the pavement. I even tried to join track in high school. But it's never stuck. Maybe I haven't given it enough of a chance. Maybe I have too high of expectations of myself but nevertheless running and I...We have a love hate relationship.
My latest running kick all started when some of the other mamas from church and I decided to start working out together. We'd load the kids up in the strollers and go for a jog. I wasn't the fastest of the bunch by any means but I was honestly surprised that I could actually do it. Well that led to that and all of a sudden I was signed up for a 5k. I figured hey I'll be in Mendota, babysitters abound. Why not?
So a few weeks of mild training and I was ready. I didn't have any loft goals. Just wanted to run the entire time and make it in under 40 minutes. It's just another workout I told myself. No biggie.
Race day came and I have to say I was a tad intimated. Everyone in their running gear, stretching and running practice jogs. "Don't worry about it," I told myself. You're just going for another run. Set your own pace. Do your own thing.
And that's what I did.
The gun went off and I zoned out. Just found my grove and kept going. Jammed to my tunes and focused on my breathing. The first mile was hard (10:45). Little kids and old ladies passed me. But I kept going.
The second mile flew by (9:00) and all of a sudden we were in the trails behind the lake. Beautiful but not great for my timing. I really hadn't practiced trails and I didn't like the constant passing and re-passing of runners. Walkers keep to the left they said...well most didn't catch that.
As the end of the race came into sight I was honestly shocked that I was still running. I lost track of the number of songs I had listened to (the only "time" tracker I had). I figured I was probably on track for my goals and sped up a little toward the end.
33:48 was the final time. Well under my original goal. I also finished 122nd overall (out of 266) and 5th in my age group. Nothing to write home about but it was encouraging. Encouraging enough to sign up for race number two...Another 5k in about a month.
Will I become a long term runner? Probably not. But for now I'm loving it. I feel like I'm finally taking control of my fitness and building my endurance. I don't want motherhood to be an excuse for fitness and am impressed with myself that I'm taking the time to do something about it!
My latest running kick all started when some of the other mamas from church and I decided to start working out together. We'd load the kids up in the strollers and go for a jog. I wasn't the fastest of the bunch by any means but I was honestly surprised that I could actually do it. Well that led to that and all of a sudden I was signed up for a 5k. I figured hey I'll be in Mendota, babysitters abound. Why not?
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| Ready to go |
So a few weeks of mild training and I was ready. I didn't have any loft goals. Just wanted to run the entire time and make it in under 40 minutes. It's just another workout I told myself. No biggie.
Race day came and I have to say I was a tad intimated. Everyone in their running gear, stretching and running practice jogs. "Don't worry about it," I told myself. You're just going for another run. Set your own pace. Do your own thing.
And that's what I did.
The gun went off and I zoned out. Just found my grove and kept going. Jammed to my tunes and focused on my breathing. The first mile was hard (10:45). Little kids and old ladies passed me. But I kept going.
The second mile flew by (9:00) and all of a sudden we were in the trails behind the lake. Beautiful but not great for my timing. I really hadn't practiced trails and I didn't like the constant passing and re-passing of runners. Walkers keep to the left they said...well most didn't catch that.
As the end of the race came into sight I was honestly shocked that I was still running. I lost track of the number of songs I had listened to (the only "time" tracker I had). I figured I was probably on track for my goals and sped up a little toward the end.
33:48 was the final time. Well under my original goal. I also finished 122nd overall (out of 266) and 5th in my age group. Nothing to write home about but it was encouraging. Encouraging enough to sign up for race number two...Another 5k in about a month.
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| Post Race Selfie |
Friday, August 15, 2014
Jess's Wedding
Last weekend Mom, Mary, Mara and I headed into the burbs to attend one of my college roommate's wedding. I was so excited that the timing worked out for me to attend. I was really looking forward to seeing some of my Augie friends and catching up with everyone again.
We checked into the hotel and had a little free time to get settled. Mara made the most of it crawling all over the hotel room. It's hard keeping her contained these days. I got ready and headed downstairs to the ceremony.
The location was beautiful and the weather was perfect, right on the lake. The ceremony was short but meaningful. There were a ton of fun details that were so Jess and Adam. I especially loved their "unity painting". I give Jess a ton of credit for painting in her white dress.
After the ceremony we moved to the patio overlooking the lake for cocktails. It was so nice to finally be able to give everyone hugs and see what they have been up to these years. I think it's been about four years since we have all gotten together! I was especially excited to see that Jo had flown all the way from Sweden for the event.
Around 7 we moved into the hotel for dinner. The dinning room was just as spectacular. After many speeches we enjoyed dinner and I headed upstairs to put Mara to bed. Little miss had ideas of her own and decided she wasn't ready quite yet. So instead we opted to go join the party.
Everyone loved meeting her and I think she loved all the commotion. She happily clapped after all the specialty dances and flashed everyone her beautiful smile. Eventually she did tucker out so we headed back upstairs for bed.
I sneaked back downstairs for the remainder of the party. We enjoyed a late night snack of McDonald's hamburgers and danced the night away to classics from our high school years. I have never heard so many oldies (but goodies) at a wedding before.
Soon it was midnight and I was beat. I said my goodbyes and headed back upstairs. It was so amazing to see everyone again and to be able to be a part of Jess and Adam's day. These people were such a huge part of my life in college and it's nice to see we can connect again years later.
Happy wedding day Jess and Adam! Wishing you guys many years of happiness. Love you guys!!
We checked into the hotel and had a little free time to get settled. Mara made the most of it crawling all over the hotel room. It's hard keeping her contained these days. I got ready and headed downstairs to the ceremony.
The location was beautiful and the weather was perfect, right on the lake. The ceremony was short but meaningful. There were a ton of fun details that were so Jess and Adam. I especially loved their "unity painting". I give Jess a ton of credit for painting in her white dress.
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| Ceremony location |
After the ceremony we moved to the patio overlooking the lake for cocktails. It was so nice to finally be able to give everyone hugs and see what they have been up to these years. I think it's been about four years since we have all gotten together! I was especially excited to see that Jo had flown all the way from Sweden for the event.
Around 7 we moved into the hotel for dinner. The dinning room was just as spectacular. After many speeches we enjoyed dinner and I headed upstairs to put Mara to bed. Little miss had ideas of her own and decided she wasn't ready quite yet. So instead we opted to go join the party.
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| Congrats guys! |
Everyone loved meeting her and I think she loved all the commotion. She happily clapped after all the specialty dances and flashed everyone her beautiful smile. Eventually she did tucker out so we headed back upstairs for bed.
I sneaked back downstairs for the remainder of the party. We enjoyed a late night snack of McDonald's hamburgers and danced the night away to classics from our high school years. I have never heard so many oldies (but goodies) at a wedding before.
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| So good seeing this lovely lady again |
Soon it was midnight and I was beat. I said my goodbyes and headed back upstairs. It was so amazing to see everyone again and to be able to be a part of Jess and Adam's day. These people were such a huge part of my life in college and it's nice to see we can connect again years later.
Happy wedding day Jess and Adam! Wishing you guys many years of happiness. Love you guys!!
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| Mara getting into her toys |
Monday, August 11, 2014
Mara-42 Weeks
Weight: Not sure on this one. I swear you feel heavier but it's hard to tell.
Health: Minus a few bumps and bruises you are doing great!
Social: You are doing great being introduced to all these new people again! You are doing pretty well and are even starting to warm up to your grandparents. You are still shy but if you are fed and not tired you do pretty well. You even worked at your Great Aunt Mary's store for a few hours while Mama got her hair cut and ran a few errands. I'm sure this will only get better the longer we are here.
Diet: You are still doing almost all real food. This isn't the greatest for Grandma as she bought you a ton of baby food pouches. You now like to have something small for breakfast, usually some fruit. You are also eating a ton more than you did at home. Lately your favorites are turkey, avocado, cheese and of course strawberries. You recently tried noodles, chicken, raspberries, squash and blueberries. You love it all!
You seem to have figured out the NUK sippy cup. You will drink a few ounces of water from it daily. I can hear you sucking from it. We will now have to introduce new types of cups and see how you do with them.
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| Cozy Coupe cruising |
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| I cannot stress your love for this thing |
Diet: You are still doing almost all real food. This isn't the greatest for Grandma as she bought you a ton of baby food pouches. You now like to have something small for breakfast, usually some fruit. You are also eating a ton more than you did at home. Lately your favorites are turkey, avocado, cheese and of course strawberries. You recently tried noodles, chicken, raspberries, squash and blueberries. You love it all!
You seem to have figured out the NUK sippy cup. You will drink a few ounces of water from it daily. I can hear you sucking from it. We will now have to introduce new types of cups and see how you do with them.
You are in size 3 disposable diapers.
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| Loves to look out the window at the corn |
Mama's Favorites: I love seeing you play with mine and Uncle Joe's old toys. It's so much fun to see you discover them for the first time. I think it's so neat that we played with them at one time and now you are.
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| Longest tongue I've ever seen |
Sleep: You are getting adjusted to our new sleeping arrangement here at Grandma's. Thankfully they have a crib for you to sleep in. For the most part you are doing great. You have been waking up twice a night lately and I'm hoping that soon you will settle into once a night again here.
It's been weird for mama sleeping in the same room as you. Thankfully I don't think we're keeping each other up at night.
We will probably start weening you from sleeping with mama in the mornings because your need to pinch me and rub my skin through your fingers drives me insane. I love you baby but I can't handle this.
This Week: We traveled all the way from North Carolina and you did amazing! We are now enjoying Grandma and Grandpa's. You have been playing with all your new toys and exploring your new surroundings.
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| Daddy makes the worse days better |
Baby Likes: You LOVE being pushed in the Cosy Coupe. You could sit for hours in there while someone pushes you around. We usually have to tear you away crying from it.
You love Uncle Joe's puppy, Ranger. You talk to him and love when he comes to give you kisses. Ranger seems to love you too and would probably lick you for hours if we'd let him.
You love to eat. You seem to have an increased appetite lately and love to sit in your high chair and eat. You can barely contain yourself when mama makes the sign for "eat".
You love books. Before you would barely sit through them now you get very angry when we don't read them multiple times. You could look at them for days and I love this.
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| So many toys so little time |
You went on your first major road trip. We drove from North Carolina to Illinois. 16 hours in one day. Girl you were a trooper. You can read more about our drive here.
You are now pulling up to standing on EVERYTHING. You pull up on the windows, the furniture, toys, mama, etc. Once you get to standing you usually dance a bit. You don't like to sit and only do so when you need to crawl somewhere. I assume you'll be walking soon.
You walk with ease when holding someone's hand. You love to be guided as you take your steps. You are really stable on your feet. Now you will also stand unassisted for a few seconds as well.
You crawled up the first step of Grandma and Grandpa's stairs and stopped. You weren't sure what to do next. This makes mama very nervous but girl you are ready to explore!!
You also crawled down from the bed one day no problem. Just rolled to the side and lowered yourself. Almost gave mom a heart attack.
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| John Deere baby |
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Our Breastfeeding Journey
In honor of National Breastfeeding Week here's a little reflection on our journey....
I was determined. I was going to breastfeed solely. We told all the doctors. Glared at them with evil looks when they came close to you with pacifiers. Struggled through that first night when you were all congested with fluid squeezing milk into your mouth.
Then came the newborn phase of cluster feedings and this new normal. The feelings of inadequacy, of frustration. Of pure joy that I was able to do this for my child. There was highs and there was lows. Tears flowed when we struggled through your tongue tie and relief when we finally got it clipped. Times where I felt like I did nothing but feed you in a day. Had to give up my beloved cheese because you couldn't handle dairy.
But then the rolls appeared and you blossomed. You soared off the charts and we never looked back. I finally felt like I knew what I was doing. I could do this. I could feed you. Provide all the nutrition you needed.
Nursing became your comfort as you got more and more mobile. When you stumble and fall, you look for Mama. I love that. I love that we have that bond.
Here we are at 10 months. A milestone I was determined to hit but yet it seemed so far away. You still nurse for nutrition but mainly you nurse because you love it. I see your eyes light up when I sign it. You love the cuddles and the closeness as much as I do girl.
So we will keep going because I know it's what's best for you. I don't know when this nursing relationship of ours will stop. In some ways I pray that you just decide one day you're done. That may be better on us both. In the meantime I will continue to treasure our time together (and try to especially remember this in the middle of the night) and know it will go fast.
I'm so glad I can do this for you Baby girl. That mama's body is able to do this for you. What an amazing thing, huh?
I was determined. I was going to breastfeed solely. We told all the doctors. Glared at them with evil looks when they came close to you with pacifiers. Struggled through that first night when you were all congested with fluid squeezing milk into your mouth.
Then came the newborn phase of cluster feedings and this new normal. The feelings of inadequacy, of frustration. Of pure joy that I was able to do this for my child. There was highs and there was lows. Tears flowed when we struggled through your tongue tie and relief when we finally got it clipped. Times where I felt like I did nothing but feed you in a day. Had to give up my beloved cheese because you couldn't handle dairy.
But then the rolls appeared and you blossomed. You soared off the charts and we never looked back. I finally felt like I knew what I was doing. I could do this. I could feed you. Provide all the nutrition you needed.
Nursing became your comfort as you got more and more mobile. When you stumble and fall, you look for Mama. I love that. I love that we have that bond.
Here we are at 10 months. A milestone I was determined to hit but yet it seemed so far away. You still nurse for nutrition but mainly you nurse because you love it. I see your eyes light up when I sign it. You love the cuddles and the closeness as much as I do girl.
So we will keep going because I know it's what's best for you. I don't know when this nursing relationship of ours will stop. In some ways I pray that you just decide one day you're done. That may be better on us both. In the meantime I will continue to treasure our time together (and try to especially remember this in the middle of the night) and know it will go fast.
I'm so glad I can do this for you Baby girl. That mama's body is able to do this for you. What an amazing thing, huh?
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
An Illinois Summer
Mara and I made the trek up to Illinois a few days ago and are adjusting to our new normal here. It's been really nice and relaxing to be here and I am so glad that we decided to make the trip.
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| First night at Grandma & Grandpa's |
Mara is loving playing with some of mine and my brother's old toys. Thankfully my mom kept most of our toys and it's been really neat to see her enjoying them too. She really loves the Cosy Coupe car and will sit in it for hours as the poor soul someone gets to push her around. She promptly screams as soon as you stop.
On that note Mara is developing a bit of a stubborn streak. Girl knows what she wants and will scream until she gets it. For the most part I know what she is wanting but I am still trying to get her to communicate her needs to me via signing. I can tell she knows what the signs means because she will smile or make sounds but she doesn't really do the gestures.
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| We cruised on this until I realized its bad on MY back |
As for other toys, she is also loving Uncle Joe's old tractor, music box and phone. She loves putting the farmer into the tractor and pushing it around. The music box is so loud but she loves listening to it. She usually dances to the song while it is playing. The phone is not like any phone we have. It moves up and down as it rings. She loves taking the phone off of this and putting her finger on the device that makes it move. She will do this for minutes at a time.
We have done a lot of visiting this first week. We have stopped into the bank and seen all the ladies there. Mara has also gone "to work" at Sports N Stuff for a few hours while I got my hair cut and ran a few errands. She did great and even took a little snooze while she was there.
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| Learned "So Big" |
I've been training for a 5k this weekend and have been running the roads around my parents' home. Mara and Mom have been walking while I run. Mara still loves her stroller and usually zones out while in it.
This weekend we are headed up to the burbs to a friend's wedding. I am super excited about seeing a few of my Augie buddies (it's been years), especially Johanna who is flying in from Sweden! Mara, Mom and Aunt Mary are tagging along for the trip and will likely hang out in the hotel during the wedding.
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| Cosy Coupe cruisin |
Thus far Illinois has been great. Although we miss our friends, church and day to day life in North Carolina, the change of pace has been great for my mentality and spirit. It's definitely helping time move faster and it's been great to see family again.
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| Tractors and John Deere |
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Dear Baby Girl-A Letter From Your Daddy
Dear Baby Girl,
Daddy is writing this note to you from Afghanistan where I'm deployed with the Army. It is Sunday; the day our family celebrates the Sabbath-day rest. It is hard to step away from work here and just rest. Daddy just listened to Pastor Bill back in NC give a sermon. I am so thankful that even in a war-zone half way around the world I am able to download a sermon and fellowship in spirit with our church family back home.
Daddy really misses you, girl. It was terribly hard for me to say goodby to you and you mommy two months ago. Time has dulled the pain a little, though and it gives me so much joy to see you and mommy almost every day over Skype. Its hard to believe how big you are getting. You are now 10 months old and I feel like I've missed so many of your latest achievements. Daddy was able to see you crawl for the first time over Skype, though. You seem to really enjoy seeing me on the computer. Mommy says you go crawling to the computer every time you hear the Skype jingle. She thinks you know it's me on the other end. You have been talking a lot to me and you seem to enjoy showing me some of the new things you've learned. You like to show me how you can drop your toys out of Buddy's cat door and you like to try to put the jelly sandwich toy together but usually just bang the pieces of bread together until mommy helps you put it all together. You then immediately proceed to pull it all apart again. You also like to pretend call me either with mommy's iPhone or your own play phone. You hold it up to your ear whenever one of us says "Hello", and then you start jabbering away into the phone.
It has been a real joy for me to see you and Buddy getting along so well. Before I left he seemed to keep his distance and would only occasionally come up to smell you or tolerate your presence when daddy was giving him some scratches. Now that I'm gone, he seems to have warmed up to you. Maybe he just misses the attention daddy used to give him and will take it from whomever will give it. Either way, he now will come up to you when you are playing on the floor and plop right down against you. He also likes to smell your forehead, just like he does with me. You seem to know this and put your head against his so he can sniff you. Maybe you think he's giving you kisses. You still will pull his hair and smack his bottom, but I think you've learned to be more gentile than you used to. Buddy seems to take it in stride and even purrs during the beatings. You pull so much hair off of him, its a shock that mommy hasn't seen any of his hair in your poop yet.
You are now pulling up to stand on just about anything you think has something interesting to destroy (i mean play with). Pretty soon you will be standing on your own and then it is off to the races for mommy. You are now in IL visiting with your grandma and grandpa. I know they are excited to see you and your grandma is lavishing gifts on you even before your 1st birthday. Daddy knows this is grandma's love language so he tolerates this. It is really neat to see that grandma kept all of your mommy's toys and now you are playing with them. You really seem to enjoy the Lil Tykes scooter. Daddy couldn't get you to focus the last time we chatted because all you wanted to do was to get in the scooter and be pushed around.
Well, I love you, Mara. Thank you for brightening my day every time we chat. I can't wait to see you again in person even though that time still seems so far away. Prepare yourself for the biggest hug you've ever had in your life. It will be like bear hugs times a billion - trillion.
Daddy
Daddy is writing this note to you from Afghanistan where I'm deployed with the Army. It is Sunday; the day our family celebrates the Sabbath-day rest. It is hard to step away from work here and just rest. Daddy just listened to Pastor Bill back in NC give a sermon. I am so thankful that even in a war-zone half way around the world I am able to download a sermon and fellowship in spirit with our church family back home.
Daddy really misses you, girl. It was terribly hard for me to say goodby to you and you mommy two months ago. Time has dulled the pain a little, though and it gives me so much joy to see you and mommy almost every day over Skype. Its hard to believe how big you are getting. You are now 10 months old and I feel like I've missed so many of your latest achievements. Daddy was able to see you crawl for the first time over Skype, though. You seem to really enjoy seeing me on the computer. Mommy says you go crawling to the computer every time you hear the Skype jingle. She thinks you know it's me on the other end. You have been talking a lot to me and you seem to enjoy showing me some of the new things you've learned. You like to show me how you can drop your toys out of Buddy's cat door and you like to try to put the jelly sandwich toy together but usually just bang the pieces of bread together until mommy helps you put it all together. You then immediately proceed to pull it all apart again. You also like to pretend call me either with mommy's iPhone or your own play phone. You hold it up to your ear whenever one of us says "Hello", and then you start jabbering away into the phone.
It has been a real joy for me to see you and Buddy getting along so well. Before I left he seemed to keep his distance and would only occasionally come up to smell you or tolerate your presence when daddy was giving him some scratches. Now that I'm gone, he seems to have warmed up to you. Maybe he just misses the attention daddy used to give him and will take it from whomever will give it. Either way, he now will come up to you when you are playing on the floor and plop right down against you. He also likes to smell your forehead, just like he does with me. You seem to know this and put your head against his so he can sniff you. Maybe you think he's giving you kisses. You still will pull his hair and smack his bottom, but I think you've learned to be more gentile than you used to. Buddy seems to take it in stride and even purrs during the beatings. You pull so much hair off of him, its a shock that mommy hasn't seen any of his hair in your poop yet.
You are now pulling up to stand on just about anything you think has something interesting to destroy (i mean play with). Pretty soon you will be standing on your own and then it is off to the races for mommy. You are now in IL visiting with your grandma and grandpa. I know they are excited to see you and your grandma is lavishing gifts on you even before your 1st birthday. Daddy knows this is grandma's love language so he tolerates this. It is really neat to see that grandma kept all of your mommy's toys and now you are playing with them. You really seem to enjoy the Lil Tykes scooter. Daddy couldn't get you to focus the last time we chatted because all you wanted to do was to get in the scooter and be pushed around.
Well, I love you, Mara. Thank you for brightening my day every time we chat. I can't wait to see you again in person even though that time still seems so far away. Prepare yourself for the biggest hug you've ever had in your life. It will be like bear hugs times a billion - trillion.
Daddy
Friday, August 1, 2014
Illinois or Bust
With Josh away, time has moved slow around the house. Sure we're still going about our daily routine but in the back of our minds time is being measured by how many more days till he's home. I guess one of the blessings of deployments is we are able to take a few extended vacations without too much worries. So in hopes of time going a bit faster, Mara and I decided to head north and visit with family for a bit.
Aunt Mary flew down to North Carolina on Tuesday and we went into the airport to pick her up. Bless her heart she had volunteered to do all the driving for us on the trip. That day we did all the last minute things we needed to do, packed up the car and dropped Buddy off at his home away from home. The plan was to wake up when Mara did that next morning and simply put her into the car (after feeding) and take off. We were planning on at least two days on the road but not sure where we were going to stop for the night. Basically we thought we'd be on Mara's terms and just see where the road took us!
Well 4 am came around, I grabbed Mara and deposited her (awake) into her car seat and we were off! Thankfully she soon drifted back to sleep and I was able to take a quick snooze as well. What felt like a blink of an eye, we were in West Virginia! Mara was up for the morning and in good spirits. We took a quick bathroom and gas break and were on the road again.
Soon after crossing the border into Ohio we were starting to get a big heads. How were we this far already?! It was only mid-day! We pulled into Chillicothe, OH for some lunch and a break. Mara soaked it in smiling and laughing at everyone in the restaurant. She easily went back in her seat and we were off!
All of a sudden we were in Dayton, my proposed stop for the night, but it was only 2 pm so we pushed on. Mara was still in amazing spirits laughing and talking non-stop. As Aunt Mary drove, we sung songs, played with toys and even skyped with Daddy in Afghanistan!
Around 4 pm we were passing through Indy and the craving of real beds was entering our heads. Could we really drive the entire trip in one day? We had been on the road 12 hours but Mara was still doing great. We'll take it city by city we decided. If she melts down we'll stop.
Enter her afternoon nap. 2 hours of pure bliss and uninterrupted driving. Just enough time to finally seal the deal. We were hours from our destination. There was no stopping.
At 7:15 after 16 hours on the road we pulled into my parents. I don't think I've ever been happier to get out of a car in my life. I am still shocked and amazed that we did it. 900 miles, 6 states, 5 stops along the way, 2 crazy adults, 1 10 month old and lots of snacks. Pure insanity.
Aunt Mary flew down to North Carolina on Tuesday and we went into the airport to pick her up. Bless her heart she had volunteered to do all the driving for us on the trip. That day we did all the last minute things we needed to do, packed up the car and dropped Buddy off at his home away from home. The plan was to wake up when Mara did that next morning and simply put her into the car (after feeding) and take off. We were planning on at least two days on the road but not sure where we were going to stop for the night. Basically we thought we'd be on Mara's terms and just see where the road took us!
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| Passed our after playing |
Well 4 am came around, I grabbed Mara and deposited her (awake) into her car seat and we were off! Thankfully she soon drifted back to sleep and I was able to take a quick snooze as well. What felt like a blink of an eye, we were in West Virginia! Mara was up for the morning and in good spirits. We took a quick bathroom and gas break and were on the road again.
Soon after crossing the border into Ohio we were starting to get a big heads. How were we this far already?! It was only mid-day! We pulled into Chillicothe, OH for some lunch and a break. Mara soaked it in smiling and laughing at everyone in the restaurant. She easily went back in her seat and we were off!
All of a sudden we were in Dayton, my proposed stop for the night, but it was only 2 pm so we pushed on. Mara was still in amazing spirits laughing and talking non-stop. As Aunt Mary drove, we sung songs, played with toys and even skyped with Daddy in Afghanistan!
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| Crossing into IL and getting a little slap happy |
Around 4 pm we were passing through Indy and the craving of real beds was entering our heads. Could we really drive the entire trip in one day? We had been on the road 12 hours but Mara was still doing great. We'll take it city by city we decided. If she melts down we'll stop.
Enter her afternoon nap. 2 hours of pure bliss and uninterrupted driving. Just enough time to finally seal the deal. We were hours from our destination. There was no stopping.
At 7:15 after 16 hours on the road we pulled into my parents. I don't think I've ever been happier to get out of a car in my life. I am still shocked and amazed that we did it. 900 miles, 6 states, 5 stops along the way, 2 crazy adults, 1 10 month old and lots of snacks. Pure insanity.
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| Even Mara was happy to sleep in a real bed! |
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