Potty Training

We briefly attempted potty training with Mara in January.  Madeline was barely two weeks old and Josh was gone for the weekend.  Needless to say it was udder failure.  She didn't want to.  I didn't want to.  After 1.5 days of pee on the floor and a newborn, Mara ended up back in diapers.

We've been thinking about doing it again but just hadn't jumped in with both feet until last Wednesday.  Mara caught sight of some Minnie Pull-ups that I had and in toddler fashion just had to wear them.  Skeptical I told her those were only for when she went on the potty and asked if she'd like to try.  She said yes!  (huge news in this house)  So still not believing anything would come of this, I sat her on the potty.  Low and behold after a few minutes she went.  I was true to my word and put her in the pull-ups.

The rest of our day consisted of lots of talk about keeping Minnie dry and trying to go on the potty.  Although Wednesday was the day that got the ball rolling I'd label Friday as our all in day.  I started talking it up on Thursday and then announced as of Friday morning no more diapers.  We rolled up the carpets in our house and got the potty chair within reach.

Friday was spend on the potty.  We set up a timer.  20 minutes off and 5 minutes on.  At first this didn't seem to resonate with Mara.  I know most parents will recommend loading up on fluids but Mara doesn't like juice and will seriously only drink so much water in a day.  We just kept offering it to her whenever we could and played drinking games (you drink when I drink lol).

Nap time came and I pulled out the pull-ups again.  Up until now she had not successfully gone potty in the potty.  I talked about how it's important to keep Minnie dry and she nodded.  Bless her she did and went for the first time that day right after her nap.  The rest of the evening went better and our end of the day tally was 5 accidents to 4 successes!

Day 2 was for the most part a breeze.  We kept the 20 minutes off and 5 on schedule (with the help of our kitchen timer) and she managed to only have 2 accidents all day.  I was extremely proud of her because that night we loaded up, potty and all, and went to a friends house for dinner.

Sunday was the easiest even with church in the morning.  We again lugged that potty, which was good because we did have to use it.  By this time we were letting her wear panties at home.  My mom bought her some Minnie panties and she was so excited to have them.  Our old sediment of keep minnie dry was working.

So here we are on Wednesday, 6 days later and were doing it!  Except for last night she has even been dry through all nights and naps!  Today I am finally seeing her control as I have extended the timer time.  She basically pees immeaditily after sitting now.  We have also done a few of the exclusive number 2's so I think we're rocking and rolling.

Potty training was super stressful for me in concept.  With a young baby, I was baffled as to how I was going to monitor a toddler at the same time.  Once I just did it I was surprised at how manageable it was especially with my timer system.  Mara also really got into our sticker reward system and now gets to pick out a special prize since she filled her chart.  We're now working on a new number 2 chart!

I am thankful that we waited as long as we did.  They say when they are ready, it's easy.  And it has been.  Mara still fights a little about sitting when we have to pull her away from playing but her control and ability to use the toilet is great now.

Next steps...master the public toilet and telling mommy and daddy when she has to go!

A Letter to My Girls

I can't believe in a matter of a month I'll have two daughters.  Two little girls running around.  This means twice the bows, twice the dresses, twice the shoes.  Your daddy is in for it with all of us around but he can handle it.  He's the best girl daddy.

I can't wait for you to meet, to watch your relationship grow and develop.  I never had a sister and always wondered what that relationship was like.  I can't wait to see you two love on each other,  to be each other's best friends, to live life together.

I can't believe what we have in store for us down the road.  Dances, proms, weddings....So many little girl things to look forward to.  I never imagined our little family with two girls but now I can't think of it any other way.

To my girls, you both will always have a piece of my heart.  I love you more than words can express.  I hope you grow up to be Godly women, to have a heart for our Lord and seek Him out daily.  I hope you follow your dreams whether that be educational, travel, service, etc.  I hope you find a man like your daddy who is kind and caring.  Who will lead your families with strength and presence.  I hope you will always have each other to lean on and rely on.  That you always are close.

I love you little girls.

Mommy

An End of an Era

Well I did it.  I finally took the plunge and weaned Mara.  We have been working toward this for awhile.  Before the move we were nursing about three times a day down from about six a few months prior.  Then while we were in semi limbo visiting family and friends, those three sessions turned into one.

It stayed at one for a long time looking back on it given how quickly we went down from six.  But we held onto that night time nurse keeping it part of her bedtime routine.  I honestly didn't really have a plan for total weaning.  I think in my mind I kept saying I'll wait till she's two (the end of this month).
Well she surprised me.  Four nights ago she didn't ask for nursing like she usually does.  She just reached for my hand and laid beside me.  I ran with it.  Yes about 15 minutes later she did ask but I gently refused and suggested we just cuddle instead.  No fussing.

The next day came around.  I had no idea whether or not I was going to refuse her but she didn't ask.  Again at about the 15 minute mark she signed for nursing.  I simply told her not tonight and that was that.

Enter the third day.  No asking.  Not even after we'd laid down.  I was in awe.

So here we are about to enter day five of no nursing and I think it may be safe to say she's officially weaned.  At least we're not looking back!

I honestly thought I would be more emotional about it.  Sure it truly does feel like the end of an era.  There is something sweet about those nursing cuddles but I feel confident that we both were ready to end that part of our relationship.

Nursing has been hard for me while pregnant and unfortunately I've taken that out on Mara a bit.  It's painful and it took everything in me to not crawl out of my skin during my first trimester.  I know she saw this and felt that our relationship was changing.

I am so proud of how far we came.  I know it's pretty unusual (in our society) to nurse your children past one but I am so glad that I did.  I can rest assured that she had a solid two years of good antibodies and nutrition because of it that will only set her up for the later years.

On a lighter note I'm kind of excited to have *ahem* that part of my body back to myself for a bit.  lol.  Well only another 4 months, but who's counting....

Breastfeeding-Where We Are; Where We're Going

I had high hopes when Mara was born.  I wanted to exclusively breastfeed her to six months.  Six months came and went.  Then I wanted to continue to breastfeed her till one.  Well that milestone has come and gone.

I never gave much thought to breastfeeding past one.  Sure I have known people who have.  I don't have any problem with it.  I just honestly didn't think that far.  One month at a time.  One milestone than another.

Now we are quickly approaching 1.5 years and it's funny because now my thoughts are turned toward the end.  I'm not counting each month as another victory but looking at her cues as to when we can slow down.

Mara is a nurser.  She loves it.  She wakes up in the middle of the night for it.  Most people are astonished (namely her doctor) when I tell them she still nurses maybe 5-6 times a day.  What can I say.  I've never really told her no.  I've also never really had her on a schedule.  We've always done things at her pace.

For the most part we've had an amazing nursing relationship.  Despite her initial tongue tie, we've had no issues.  I have had no infections.  She's never really bit me.  I'm pretty sure I have it good compared to many.

Well lately I've been looking to the future.  Looking to the day when we're done nursing.  Sure I love nursing Mara.  I'm so happy that I was able to do this for her for almost 18 months now.  But I just feel like I'm getting toward the end.

She doesn't nurse like she used to.  Those who have nursed toddlers know what I mean.  Some days it seems like I'm more of a jungle gym than a food source.  There's also the issue of teeth.  Sure she doesn't bite me (I wouldn't stand for that) but it's uncomfortable.  She usually clamps down on the top and can sometimes treat me more like a sippy cup than mom.  Despite weeks of corrective work we haven't made much progress.

So here I am feeling slightly guilty for feeling this way, ready to be done, but at the same time not.  I know Mara would keep nursing if I let her.  I know this is still good for her, but I'm ready to have my body back a bit.  I'm a tad nursed out.

Sure I'll miss it.  I'll miss the nursing cuddles and looking down into those eyes.  I'll miss how fast nursing cures all and how easily it makes Mommy trump Daddy ;)

All this said I know we're not quitting today or tomorrow.  I think it's going to be a much longer process than that.  We may be looking at months but that's where we're headed.  In my ideal world she would wean herself.  I KNOW that's not going to happen so we will continue to try to cut back.  See how she does.

*Sigh* it's kind of hard to leave this chapter.  Watch it start to close. But I think in the end it will be best for all.

Toddler Must Haves

Toddler.  Do I really have a toddler?  It seems just like yesterday I was reflecting on some of our favorite newborn and infant products.

Now that Mara is older our list of must haves has definitely changed a bit.  Surprisingly enough, there are still some products that have withstood the test of time and are still making the list 15 months later.

Here are some of our go to products for day to day life!  *note these are my own opinions and I was not compensated for my thoughts*

Eating

Boon Plates-I'm not sure Mara has an opinion about these plates but I love them.  They have a non-slip edge which makes them harder for her to throw on the ground move.  They have three different sized wells which makes for decent serving proportioning.  Boon also makes these plates in a large size with four wells which we may get eventually!

Snap Bibs-This WAHM started this company after seeing a need for her own child.  I stumbled upon these bibs after seeing how difficult the standard bib was clean and how easily Mara could take it off.  I've never looked back.  These are my go to, all around favorite bib.  They have a sturdy snap that Mara cannot get off and wipe clean super easy.  My favorite aspect of this bib is that it can be thrown in the wash!


Sleeping

Tight Fitting PJs-After reading about flame retardant that is now common on children's pjs, I was adamant about Mara's pjs not having it.  We don't have a favorite brand per say but Mara owns numerous pairs from Children's Place, Carters and Old Navy.  We have recently moved away from footie pjs for the older two piece option.

Bathing

Rubber Ducky Tub-We have had this tub since Mara was old enough to sit up in her infant tub.  We use it everyday as a water saving alternative to the larger bath tub as well as a convenient travel option.  The tub easily deflates and packs really small in a suitcase.  We tried to move Mara to the big tub after she stood up a few times but she was really terrified so we reverted back to the duck!

Hooded Towels-Again we don't have a favorite brand but I love to wrap Mara up in a hooded towel after a bath.  We have a few in fun animal prints and even a few from my childhood that still fit her.

On The Go

Ergo-The Ergo has been on my baby must have list from the beginning.  It is my all time go to for long carries and now that Mara is on the move, containment.  In the toddler years all Mara wants to do is run around on her own.  I can pick her up kicking and screaming, throw her in the Ergo and she instantly calms down.

Ring Sling-I have had my sling since about 5 months and I still love it 10 months later.  I can still comfortably carry Mara around in it for shorter periods of time and regularly still use it as a nursing cover.

Britax Stroller-With Mara getting bigger, I find myself utilizing our stroller more and more.  Mara does awesome while the stroller is in motion so we regularly use it for long walks and shopping adventures.  The Britax B-Agile is a perfect blend of an all-terrain and a regular stroller and definitely meets our needs.

Playtime

Radio Flyer-We bought this ride on for Mara's first birthday.  It took her about a month to figure out how to use it but now she flies around the house on this thing.  I love watching her burn out around corners and get up to speed.  The best part of this toy is that it will grow with her.  Not only does the handle bars raise as she gets taller but the whole ride-on will convert to a scooter when she is ready for it.

Music Table-We have had this toy since Mara was 6 months and she has loved it the entire time.  We started without legs when she couldn't stand.  Put the legs back on when she could stand and now watch her push it around the house.  She still loves all the music and dances along as she pushes the buttons.

Books-We are obsessed with books in this house.  Picture books, sound books, board books.  We have them all.  Mara loves to be read to as well as read on her own.  Our library is constantly growing and I love watching her so intent on the story within the pages.

Push Walker-We got this push walker for Mara when she was around 6 months as well.  At that point she could sit by it and play with the things on the front.  Now she mainly uses to run around the house.  It was essential when Mara was learning to walk to give her stability and she loves using it to chase Buddy around the house.

Food, Food and More Food?

Mara is almost 15 months old and we've been doing solid foods for almost ten months now.  We started with purees and quickly switched to a form of baby led weaning when Mara decided she was over the baby food. 

Now I have a little girl who is as particular about what she puts in her mouth as I've ever seen.  She is always very cautious.  Takes a small bite or a lick to assess the flavor.  Then she proceeds.  And if she doesn't get a good first impression well forget it.  It takes days if not weeks to get her to try a new food again.

She has her all time favorites, strawberries, cheese, bananas, avocado, pasta.  These I can always get her to eat.  Heck she'd eat these all the time if I'd let her.  And maybe that was the problem.  Maybe I did this to myself.  I was so lost at first with baby led weaning as to what I could give her.  Once I found things she liked I stuck with them.  

I'm hoping as time goes on she gets better.  That sooner rather than later she will just be eating whatever we are eating without any complaint.  I think that some of this will come with age and understanding.  I am already seeing small improvements when I let her eat similar things as me or as she starts to master silverware.  

But in the meantime I'm not too incredibly worried.  She's still a champion nurser.  I never thought I would be nursing my baby past one year but I don't see us stopping anytime soon.  I know it's good for her and I also appreciate that she is getting adequate nutrition.  I have seen her nursing decrease and some days we only nurse 3 or 4 times.  As this continues to decrease I am sure I will see her food intake increase.  

Giving it Up for This Thing Called Motherhood

*Note this is just a reflection on where I am in life right now.  This is not an opinion piece in any way.*

Lately I've been meditating a lot on my stage in life.  With all the news lately on Ebola, that public health part of me starts to itch a bit.  Makes me wonder if I'll ever get back to it at some point.  But at the same time I can honestly say right now I am perfectly content.

This motherhood thing.  It's pretty awesome.  Sure it's a whole lot of hard work and yes sometimes I think it would be easier to go to work every day.  But right now I feel incredible blessed to be able to stay home with Mara.  To take in every second with her.  To focus my efforts on our family.  To make it possible for my husband to follow his career.

It's a calling.  It's a conscious effort.  It works for some and it doesn't for others.  Lately I've come across this quote and I just keep coming back to it.

I have discovered that 

This act of mothering

 is my act of worship to Him right now 

dying to self & delighting in them. 

There is failure. 

Yet forgiveness

 and grace

 and growing. 

A Reflection on Motherhood

This mommy thing it's hard work.  It's also the most fulfilling work I've ever done.  There are some days where I literally throw up my hands with frustration and others where I cannot imagine my heart growing with more love for her.

Each day I make a choice to try to be the best mama I can be.  I want to make precious memories with her.  I want to instill in her love, discipline, faith, and obedience.  I want to play and laugh.  I don't want to wish the day (or night) away.

Sure there are days where other things consume me.  I get wrapped up in the amount of things on my to do list.  Freak out that the house is dirty or the laundry isn't done.  But then I try to remember to step back.  To remember that these days will go to fast.  That I will regret that I was too busy worrying about these tasks instead.

I don't want to miss anything.  I don't want to miss the milestones.  The first words, the first steps, the moment she starts running.  I want to marvel in these little accomplishments and praise her for her efforts.

Motherhood has challenged my faith.  Drawn me closer to Him in times of doubt.  Sure there were nights where I just didn't understand.  Prayed for clarity and felt abandoned.   But I mean how many times do we actually understand His plan?!  In the end He is always faithful and always there.

Motherhood is the hardest job I have ever hold.  It is a forever job.  It is one I have to work at each and every day.  But it's the best job.  Some days I complain.  Heck most days I complain!  But I know it's worth it.  That this is my calling.  That I am capable.  That each and every time that little girl wraps her arms around me I am complete.

A Year Ago Today

A year ago today we knew we were going to be meeting you pretty soon.

A year ago today we were working through some pretty intense labor pains.

A year ago today you came crying into this world.

A year ago today we finally got to hold you in our arms.

A year ago today we met the most beautiful baby girl for the first time.

We love you Baby Girl!  Wishing you the happiest of birthdays!

Love,

Mommy & Daddy

A Year Ago Today...

A year ago today I was feeling enormous.

A year ago today I was convinced I should have already gone into labor.

A year ago today I was trying to walk baby girl out.

A year ago today we were pushing little knees down into my stomach.

A year ago today we never knew how much our lives would change for the better

A year ago today I never knew how much you could love another person so quickly.

A year ago today I never knew that being a Mama would be the most amazing thing I've ever done.

 

39 weeks pregnant with Mara.
She would be born exactly one week later,
on her due date!

A Letter to My Pre-Mom Self

Oh you cute little pregnant woman you, with that beautiful belly.  Oh how I'd love to go back and reassure you.  To calm your fears.  To steer you in the right direction.  To point out what really matters.

I'd say...Don't worry about how many outfits she has or what size she'll fit into.  Your mom will buy enough clothes for her to tie her over :)  Also getting her in every outfit once before you have to pack it away constitutes a success.

Those hair bows.  Yes they are cute.  Yes you think she needs one for every outfit.  But really...you will just take them off because they leave marks on her head and you'll have mom guilt.

Speaking of useless clothing items.  Shoes.  I mean really she will sit in the swing all day.  Yes I know they are adorable but let others buy them for you.  Oh and ps her feet will stay tiny forever so all those you bought to "save for later" really will be much much later.

Oh the hours of research you did.  The hours and hours of research.  About this piece of baby equipment and that.  How to get her to sleep.  What kind of laundry detergent to use.  Yeah it never stops.  You will continue to google these things until your eyes want to pop out.  It's ok.  It will reassure you that you are doing ok for a bit before you run back to your computer to google the next thing.

That fear you had of her falling off of something.  It'll happen.  And you'll feel terrible.  One minute she'll be smiling because she rolled over and the next she will be on the floor.  It's ok.  It happens.  You'll comfort her and she will be alright.

And the nursery.  Oh how I'd love to tell you to not stress over the nursery.  Yes you will do a beautiful job and yes I am sure someday she may appreciate it.  But she also won't sleep in it for the first 6 months of her life.

You beautiful mama-to-be.  Most of all don't sweat the small stuff.  One day they will hand you this most precious little girl that you worked hours to deliver and all of it.  Yes ALL OF IT.  It just won't matter anymore.  All of sudden your entire world will be right there in your arms.  You will make mistakes and some days it will feel like you're failing. You will call your girlfriends up ready to pull your hair out.  You will cry tears of frustration (and joy). But you'll get through. Through His grace and a whole lot of encouragement from your hubby.  Trust me the next day will feel a little bit easier.  And that little bundle...she'll love you unconditionally through it all.  You will be her world.

And honestly there's nothing like it in the world.  To be a mama.  You'll do good.  Don't worry. :)

Our Current Sleep Struggles

Sleep has always been an "issue" for us.  So much so sometimes I feel like I'm a broken record accounting our night over and over again.  Yes she is still waking up.  Yes it's hard.  Yes a lot of times sometimes I feel like I want to bang my head against a wall.

We hit what I thought to be the "9 month sleep regression" early July.  Before this we had established a really regular routine of one wake up per night sometime around 3:30-4:30.  At first I shrugged it off thinking she had just had a lot of change in her life.  Josh had left on deployment.  She was learning to crawl.  We were settling into a new routine.  But it kept getting worse.  2 wake ups turned to 3 and then 4.  Soon she was up every hour.

To say I was frazzled was an understatement.  I didn't have anyone with me to take a turn or even just bounce ideas off of.  I read lots of blog posts and sent way too many frantic texts to Josh.  (poor guy must have felt horrible not being able to do anything)  Finally I just had to let her cry for my own sanity.  I went in nursed her. Laid her back down and left the room.  After two nights of this we were back to one wake up a night.

Enter our travel schedule.  I was terrified.  I was finally getting some sleep and now we were going to shake things up again.  I know Mara.  I know how susceptible she is to change when it comes to sleep.  Our last major trip ended up in a month of co-sleeping which took two months to un-do. *I'm not saying co-sleeping is a bad thing.  It just didn't work for us.*

Well we've been at my parents for about three weeks now.  Here Mara has her own crib which nice but it is also in my room.  Since we've been here she has woken up anywhere from 2 to 4 times a night.  For the most part we have just cuddled and she has fallen back asleep.  I do nurse her at least once during the night but otherwise she isn't really hungry.

I'm not sure what is going on (and on some level I've stopped trying to "define" it).  She's in a new place.  She's getting accustomed to a new house, new smells, new room.  She was also cutting a tooth which has just shown itself today.  On top of all that she is rapidly conquering a ton of motor skills.  She can now pull up to standing, stand on her own, walk along furniture and walk behind a push toy.  Her little brain must be on hyper drive!

So I guess there's not really a conclusion to this post.  I'm not sure where to go from here nor am I sure I am completely looking for an answer.  Yes I'd like her to sleep longer stretches, not wake up so often and (gasp) sleep that elusive through the night.  But she's not there yet for some reason.  And that's ok.  I'm trying really really hard to change my mindset on this.  To be grateful for the extra cuddles.  To cherish these times together, even if they are at 2 am when she was just up a few hours before.  :)

We will get through this and someday we will look back at this time in our lives as a drop in the bucket.  Heck we'll probably joke about it when we can't drag her teenager butt out of bed at noon one Saturday morning!  But for now I will just continue to push through.  To try to stay calm and show her comfort.  To look for His grace in this.  To thank Him for this sweet time and this precious gift.

On that note I better get to bed....  :)

A Solids Update

The last couple of days Mara has suddenly decided she is over pureed foods.  She shakes her head "no no no" when I try or grabs the spoon and promptly drops it on the floor.  I kind of expected this day would come I just didn't think she would make such a drastic change.  (Literally one day she was done)

We have since switched to a more baby led weaning approach.  I've been giving her pieces of food that are manageable for her and she is feeding herself.  For the most part the food doesn't really make it down.  She chews most things and then lets it fall out of her mouth.  I'm not too worried about this because we are still nursing pretty regularly.  I also know Mara and when she's hungry she'll eat.

I've had fun trying to figure out foods for her to try.  It's been a bit difficult but I think I am getting the hang of it finally.  Sure it takes a bit more planning but that's ok.  Mara has tried avocado, banana, toast, sweet potatoes, carrots, strawberries, oranges and turkey.  She has eaten all but I think loves the strawberries the most.  I can't wait to venture into more foods and let her try new things!

I'd say the only downfall of this is the mess.  Man this girl does not care about getting dirty.  She squeezes the food between her fingers.  Smears it on her face.  Licks the table.  Rubs it on her clothes.  It almost always requires a bath immediately after.

As with everything in this whole parenting thing, the normal is constantly changing usually right when I feel like I have finally gotten the hang of it.  She likes to keep me on my toes :)  But these changes also means she's growing and developing and that's always a good thing.  It'll only be a matter of time before she's reaching for food off of my plate!  

9 Month Sleep Regression

Mara has never been a great sleeper.  Sleeping through the night you say.  What's that?  Even at 9 months I still count 5 straight hours as a good thing.  Then she started only waking once at night.  What's this I thought?  This is amazing.  I can get a solid 6 hours minimum before she woke up to nurse.

Enter our recent couple of weeks.  Suddenly my sleeping child is waking up every two hours or so.  Yes I did this with my newborn but wow did it frazzle this mama 9 months in.  I was angry.  I was sleep deprived.  I was frustrated.  To top it off I was in this new sleep battle alone.  Now I didn't have Josh there to converse with; bounce ideas off.  It was up to me.

There was tears from both Mara and me.  Long restless hours in the middle of the night where she frankly refused to fall asleep.  Nights that once I got her to sleep I laid there willing my now awake brain to shut down and go back to sleep.  Mornings where all I wanted to do was throw the covers over my head and escape from it all.

We are in no way emerging from this regression.  (as I write this Mara is stirring and likely to wake up) But I am starting to come to terms with it with a whole lot of prayer and grace.  When I feel like I can't do another day, He gives me the strength to go another hour then that beautiful girl flashes me the most amazing smile and makes it all better.

I have also been blessed with the most amazing community of family and friends around me.  They have surrounded me with love and laughter.  They have lifted me up in prayer when I was too discouraged to turn to Him myself.  And my poor husband.  I can't even imagine what he's feeling when I text him about ready to pull my hair out in the middle of the night; in the middle of my struggle.  How helpless he must feel.  But he's amazing and encouraging.  He's never once downgraded my feelings or made me feel like I was overreacting.  He may be thinking it (haha) but he's never expressed it.  Even halfway around the world he's great.

Currently Mara is waking up anywhere from 3 to 4 times a night.  She seems frazzled and restless.  I read that 9 months can be a really difficult time for them as they are learning all sorts of new motor skills as well as their brain is really starting to remember and analyze their world.  It's hard for them to shut it off.  Sure some babies sail through this phase without a blink of the eye but not Mara.  But that's ok.  We'll get through this.  She will sleep again.  I will sleep again.

A First Mother's Day

I try to be honest in this little blog world of mine.  Record my feelings and day to day activities without fear of what others may think or believe.  This is one of those posts...

Leading into my first mother's day, I had all these warm, fuzzy expectations of the day.  Now in my head I'm not sure what this exactly entailed but it sure felt good.  Here I was finally in the "Mom" category and look a day all about me type of thing.

When the actual day rolled around, it wasn't anything like I expected.  Yes my husband remembered the day with the sweetest handwritten cards and a thoughtful and useful gift.  But it wasn't this amazing day as I had imagined in my head.  I walked around all day in a fog, a funk, that I just couldn't shake.

Then, late last night Mara cried out and I got up to comfort her.  I just picked her up and brought her into bed to cuddle with me.  I'm not sure how long we stayed that way or when we fell asleep but when I woke up that fog had lifted.

Yes the day was about me and yes I felt blessed by the gifts I received.  But its also about this remarkable little girl who made me a mama.  What a blessing she is in my life and how lucky I am to play that role in her life.

And about my hubby and the walk we take together as parents.  What a remarkable man I married that will remember me on this special day and try to make it memorable!

Happy Mother's day!