Madeline-The Newborn-ness

My Maddy,

Oh how I already miss your newborn-ness.  The days and weeks have flown by in a flurry that I don't remember with your sister.  I feel like I haven't had the opportunity to soak in this time; sleep with you on my chest, have long conversations in bed, and just smell your sweet smell.

A tiny part of me morns this lost time but the majority of me realizes that this is just our normal.  Maddy my dear, you are our second baby.  This means you're sister will always be a part of the picture.  That she will demand my attention at times where I would normally be cuddling you.  That she will be impatient in her toddler-ness when you want to feed. That she will forever be pestering you right when you fall asleep.

And Maddy that's the beauty of it.  She gets to be a part of those moments.  To love on you.  To relish this time when you are so small.  To marvel at your perfectness.  Almost every memory from this past month I have includes your sister.  My two girls.  Together.

When I first held your sister, I felt like I didn't know her, didn't know this little girl that I already loved so much.  Now after having you, I know I was wrong.

I remember all the nights we had together.  Just the two of us.  You in my belly and me marveling at every movement.  I watch you move your arms and legs now and remember how that felt against my skin.  I see your perfect little face and recall the images and profile on the ultrasounds.  I know you.  You are my Madeline.

Love you beautiful girl,

Mommy