Our Perspective on This Whole Sleep Thing...part 2

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*Note I do not write this post to advocate one way of "sleep-training" over another. I just write to document our experience.

Making the decision to move Mara to her crib was really hard.  I felt so bad for wanting our space back, wanting to lie next to my husband again.

In the beginning it was really important for me to have a plan.  How were we going to do this?  I didn't want her to feel like we were abandoning her.  I didn't want her to "cry it out".  How would I comfort her when she cried? Would I pick her up every time or keep her in the crib? Would we jump into this with both feet or spend some time getting her used to the crib during naps?

We decided the best way to transition Mara was to move her crib into our room.  We knew she liked having us close and I knew I would keep with it more if I didn't have to walk to her room.  I know myself and I know how I am, especially sleep deprived at 3 am.

Josh thought that if we were going to do this we should just jump in. So that day I put Mara down in
her crib for naps and when we were doing things in our room.  Although we were trying to get her used to the crib for naps already, she really hadn't spent a ton of time in there.

The first night was rough.  She must have knew something was up because it took her a good two hours to settle down.  Once she was asleep she stayed that way for about an hour, just long enough for us to fall asleep.  I tried to stick to our plan.  Comforting her in her crib every time she cried.  I would try to feed her if I thought she was hungry and picked her up when she really got upset.

At 6:30 am we had gotten about one hour of sleep and she was consistently waking up on the hour.  To say we were at our wits end was an understatement.  As I was rocking her Josh quietly asked whether or not we should just let her self sooth.  I immediately said no.  I didn't want her to cry it out.  But I relented.  We had tried my idea.  Now it was time to try his.

Her tears hurt me more than they did her.  I crawled into bed feeling just helpless and bawled.  I felt so bad.  I am just thankful for Josh and his steadfastness.  He was now tasked with soothing me as well as Mara!

After about 15 minutes or so, she fell asleep and stayed that way for four hours, just enough for both Josh and I to regain a bit of our sanity.   As it almost always does, clarity came in the morning.  She woke up smiling and laughing, her usual self.

Day two we weren't so stringent about naps.  When she fell asleep in our arms we tried the crib but when that failed we'd whip out the baby carrier and not feel bad about it.  We made sure we gave extra cuddles and enjoyed more play time.

Sunday night I decided to employ a few more sleep tactics.  I swaddled her flailing legs but left her arms out. (she uses her hands for comfort) I also put my sleep shirt in the crib next to her so she would have my scent near.  She went down in a record breaking 15 minutes, cried for about 10 and then slept for 5 hours.  Just unheard of.  At almost 6 she woke up to feed and then went down for another 2!  That morning again we had our usual happy girl.

We were encouraged.  We knew she could sleep on her own.  Had seen signs that she was ready for this.  And here was our proof.

The last two nights have really been just answered prayers.  After a kiss from Daddy, I take her back to our bedroom to nurse.  We sit on our bed instead of laying like we used to and I nurse her to sleep.  I usually cuddle her for a few minutes then it is into her crib.  She usually stirs but will now fall back asleep with a simple "shh" and a hand on her chest.  I turn on her sleep sheep and humidifier, cover her up and walk out of the room.

She has been sleeping anywhere from 4-6 hours straight and only waking to feed.  Her mornings are shorter intervals but that's how she's always been.  Overall she's pretty well rested and we're even seeing her naps in her crib improve.

I never wanted to let her "cry it out", but in the end its what worked for us.  I'm comfortable in what we did and know she knows were still close by if she needs us.  She's still smiling and laughing and frankly I'm a better mom because I'm now getting better sleep.  We also have reclaimed our bed for us and I know we needed it.  And that's just good all around.

Bottomline: You have to do what's right for your child and your family.  I know there are people who aren't going to agree with our methodology.  Heck I didn't either!  But we're happy with where we are right now and that's all that's important.  I'm sure we'll have setbacks but we're moving forward.  Mara's sleeping.  We're sleeping. One hurdle down.....for now.